It seems like nature has a very descent taste of irony. As I become more and more vexed and disurbed so does the weather get colder and colder. It holds little or no promise of warmth anymore.
I feel like witnessing the endgame of my relationship. Just a week ago it all seemed to be alright. We loved each other. But the las few days - since she's away - her tone turned chilly and formal like we are no more than aquintences. She says oblivious things during the short calls we use to keep in touch. 'We will sit down sometime and I will tell the story because it's too long.' Like I was not her lover any more.
The other day in a cigarette break she said we need to spend more time together because it's not good for her. How come she became such a distant one for tonight going 'somewhere' with two Indian guys. (By the way she also said that she was asked for her hand by someone.)
She left in Tuesday and we were both sad to spend some days apart. Now it's Saturday and I don't know what's wrong but I definitelly feel something starange in her words, in her voice, in her whole behaviour. She is distanced.
And yes, I am upset, shaking like hell and the whole story is terrifingly familiar. These were the signs of spliting up with my former love. And I felt it then as well. If I'm good in anything that must be reading the lies of those who I know.
I really lost my sense of direction on this one. I'm affraid and desperate and feeling betrayed - if only by my stupid, overcomplicated way of thinking. Should I remain silent or sound my doubts? Should I interpret her behaviour as a sign of the end or as something temporary coldness caused by tiredness?
I guess it is only time I can rely on solving these issues.
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