2008. szeptember 16., kedd

Evolve, evolve, evolve

Well it used to be an update but turned out to be a completely new post. No weather analogies this time though.
It was in the afternoon that I discovered she became friend with some Manish guy. She left a note to him at a community site calling the guy 'honey'. She rarely calls me honey these days. Whatever. I try to put on a happy face.
And in the morning she was chatting with this fucking 'Psycho' Tom again. I was on the edge of telling her that I am becoming more and more jealous of him. I think it's a bit better this way. They met tonight at a pub - okey there are some other friends there. I asked her earlier whether I could join them but she replied it was not exactly my company and no, do not join cause it might be weird for her. So now she's in a pub with them and I'm waiting for her at home.
At the same time I can record a little bit of relief. Her tone on the phone changed to a bit warmer after (or while) meeting one of her girlfriends. I hold on to every bit of hope now.
I want her to stay with me. This fucking situation makes me completely mad ('been thinking about spying on her but I had to recognize I'm not that kind of guy).
So here's the deal: I love her, can't stop thinking about her and cannot concentrate on anything else. I held a lecture today but somehow I wasn't there. Someone used my vocal chords to tell the kids what they need to know but I was thinking about how to win her love back.
After all it has been sang:

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone


Update: It's quarter past midnight. I called her to ask what's up. We agreed on she would call me if she misses the last bus home. She is walking home now but I should not come to pick her up because she's not alone... Let's meet - she said - somewhere at the near hotel. She'll call me when she knows the time she'll be there. FUCKING HELL AM I ANGRY!

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